It's time to make a change.
When I look in the mirror, I am absolutely disgusted. With my body, with my mind, with my spirit, with myself. I am so unhappy, it makes me ill.
I used to be different. I used to be healthy and have friends and go places and do things. Now? Notsomuch.
I am a hermit. I'm always home. I don't get up and dress up anymore. I used to never go anywhere without makeup on and now I barely brush my hair. I live my life dreading seeing anyone I know because I don't want them to see how far I've fallen down the rabbit hole.
So I'm ready to make a change. I want to be healthy again. I want to exercise. I want to have friends again. I want to go to church again. I don't want to be embarrassed to be seen. I don't have an entire plan together yet, but that is my New Year's Resolution.. To take my non-existent, pathetic life and turn it into something I'm proud of.
These are the things I want to work on: Health/Fitness, Emotional Health, Social Life and Spiritual Life. Like I said, I haven't exactly figured out how I am going to work on these things yet but that's OK. I think just identifying what I want to work on is a big step. I plan to make a list of goals sometime in the next few days to get started, and I plan to use this to document my journey. I want something to be accountable to and also something I can use to look back on and track my progress. I also want a place to let out my dorky thoughts and crazy rantings!
So welcome to my journey. I'm starting at rock bottom and so looking forward to the climb back up.
You're blogging again, which is a great start, sis! You've got this.
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